He tried and tried to climb my parents’ wall, but the siding was just too slippery for mantis feet. I suggested The Serenity Prayer and oh, he gave me such a look.


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And His Heart Tumbled Like Kittens

My son and I get a kick out of the Black Metal show on local college radio. For songs with incomprehensible lyrics, my son’ll laugh and ask, “Hey Dad, what’s he singing there?” And I’ll tell him something like, “Oh, it’s a song about his first big crush. He’s singing that he mailed his special someone a gift — it was a pink sweater with purple sequins — and she was so delighted that she texted him lots of kissy-kiss emoji, and his heart tumbled like kittens.”


The first of my IRON MAIDEN black vinyl reissues arrived today. Amazon screwed the pooch on my order, sadly, with one part unexplainably shipping late and another part, the “Killers” LP, arriving melted. It looks like someone left it on a hot plate. I suppose it might have been hell fire. A prompt replacement has been requested.

“The Number of the Beast” LP made it safely, thank God.


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Bones & Bones

We bought a skeleton. I had so many Walgreens reward points, the price was 50% off, which is like getting 103 bones for free.

Here’s our dog Bones, not entirely sure the skeleton is trustworthy.


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New Antler

Bones is napping with his new kiln-dried antler.


Grounded Shephard

Last evening’s menu included “Shephards Pie”, a meal popularized by men who hardened sheep, shunned apostrophes, and preferred the “grounded beef” of well balanced, sensible cows.


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Twin Peaks Returns!

TWIN PEAKS reborn on Showtime in 2016! According to various sources, co-creators David Lynch and Mark Frost will write nine new episodes, set 25 years after the series’ demise, and Lynch himself will direct every episode.



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That Gum I Like Coming Back In Style?

Yesterday my wife got me the TWIN PEAKS Blu-ray set for my birthday, which should come as no surprise to anyone who’s known me since 1990. Then today, both David Lynch and co-creator Mark Frost tweeted the following:

Dear Twitter Friends: That gum you like is going to come back in style! #damngoodcoffee

I’ve grown wary of PEAKS revival rumors — they’ve been happening for years — and I’m always wary of some beloved series or band reappearing, only to soil a wondrous legacy with sub-par new material. E.g., Indiana Jones, The Pixies, Arrested Development. But TWIN PEAKS had a very spotty, and sometimes even lousy, second season when it originally aired. I happen to love the prequel, FIRE WALK WITH ME: an underrated movie. So the promise of an uncompromising Lynch/Frost return doesn’t worry me as much. It’s Lynch, so it’d be bat-shit fascinating even if it wasn’t actually great.

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Wood Pellets: Success!

They’re in.




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